update

hey..
well i thought that i would take a few mins out of packing to post on my blog...
i had group yesterday again, and this is my main reason for needing to blog as i am supposed to recored my thoughts and feelings after so that when i finish next year i can see where i have come, it also helps me so that i can read things back and fill people in on how things have been in 2 weeks at next group.
i got really upset at the beggining, well not really upset enough to effect me or anything, but they have decided as a group rule that you cant be more than 10mins late for group, and it was discussed what the outcome of that is going to be... well my transport is often late which means that i am often more late then that, so that means that i will prob have to wait outside until the break if something big has come up... fair enough i understand exactly why they are doing it, but then it does mean that i will miss out on something that could potentialy be very important. oh well i will have to see how it goes (sorry i haven't told you this paul, but i have only just remmied about that, as i am sure you are aware i blocked the group out immediately, and so couldn't remmy much at the time, so nothing personal) .
I don't think that the group affected me as much as the past ones have done, there were bits that were upsetting, and lots made me think... but i was in such a bad mood i think i was able to filter it all cus i had to much other stuff on my mind too. i was last to talk yest... that upset me a bit, cus it meant that i couldn't let it out, and i dint get to talk about some of the stuff that was really getting to me(however i can't remmy any of those things now, so it cant have been that important). But then in a way it was a relief cus it ment that i dint have to talk either... but part of me wanted to and the other dint, i can't really win...

Alpha was good last night, our lil group is great and i think that we are prob closer as a group then any of the other groups that meet on a tues night, we are even doing a bit of socializing outside of Alpha, and its really nice and supportive, i feel honered to be a part of that group!! The topic was 'how and why should we tell others' and was a nice lil discussion. And one part in particular was VERY inspiring!:) The talk was quite good too and every point he had was all based on bible verses which tell us to do that point. Really made the group think about what they could do and how they could do it, which is really encouraging, you can really see them blosseming.
The real highlight for me though at alpha last night was what Mandy reminded me of... i was SO MAJOR stressed and was really taking it out on everyone and everything, and was so totally fed up and SO worried about getting stuff done for the move... mandy said to me though
'have you given all this over to God'
How on earth could i forget something so obvious and straight forward as that... my own advice that i tell people, and i forgot it myself when it came to me and my problems. i was SO greatful, and prayed immediatly... and boy did i not feel a million times better and happier... God surely answers our prayers... and i even woke up today less stressed and A LOT happier....

But that is obv hugely down to the lord, but also due to Tigz coming today... and the suprise she brought with her!!!!!!!! PAUL!!! how great is that :D :D :D
so yer we did some packing together, and then lunch, before dad arriving... so we went shopping for the last few things that i needed for the flat. We had such a great and fun day!!!!! and Paul i am SO sorry for leaving you out at times!!
Then this eve mum and dad came with chinese takeaway!!! YUM!! and then we did some packing together... i am SO tired now and in a fair amount of pain... but it was worth every min of it!!!

Praise God points

-for the fun i had today with paul, tigz and my parents.
- for giving me the strength to achieve the amount i have today
- for Mandy, in being Gods instrument in reminding me to give all my burdens to the lord
- for taking all my stress and worries away
-for providing me with everything
- just for being so super awesome!!!

AMEN!!!!!!